“Surrender to what is. let go of what was. have faith in what will be.”
And, I am throwing in the towel.I’m proud of my valiant, if vain, attempt to recreate the Camino here at home.
For just under a week, I have attempted to look at everything with “new eyes”, surround myself with friends and family, walk places instead of driving. But the thing is, it just isn’t the same, can’t be the same. It’s like trying to make an apple into an orange. Or a sandwich into an orange. Or more accurately, a boat into an orange. As hard as I might try, a boat will never become an orange.
This morning I lay in bed trying to convince myself to walk all day in an attempt to resurrect the Camino. I considered the 17 mile loop to Stinson and back but the idea fell flat since I know it so well. I considered walking to Fairfax via fire roads; Del Casa to Escalon to Middle Summit to the Corte Madera Ridge to Eldridge to Shaver Grade. It’s a route I’ve never done, and I imagine it would take the better part of the day.
But here’s the thing; walking all day isn’t what makes the Camino the Camino, nor is being surrounded by friends and family, nor is looking at everything with new eyes. There is no defining it.
While I might see other hikers or bikers or runners out on the trails of Marin, we won’t be “pilgrims” on the same journey. We won’t be traveling to the same place, much less a sacred place, as an act of “religious devotion”. We won’t be calling out, “buen camino” as we pass one another on the trail, knowing that we are sharing something special.
I have a lovely apartment. I have amazing friends I enjoy spending time with. I am surrounded by beautiful forests and creeks and beaches and cliffs and meadows. Looking at everything with “new eyes”, surrounding myself with friends and family, and walking instead of driving are wonderful things to do but I can no longer fool myself into thinking that doing so will recreate the Camino. It’s time to recognize that the Camino is the Camino and my life here is just that. They are both wonderful in completely different ways and the time has come to appreciate each for exactly what it is, nothing more, nothing less.
- a person who journeys, especially a long distance, to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion: pilgrims to the Holy Land.
- a traveler or wanderer, especially in a foreign place.
- an original settler in a region.
- one of the band of Puritans who founded the colony of Plymouth, Mass., in 1620.
- a newcomer to a region or place, especially to the western U.S.